In order to save a few bucks on Saturday night, I stayed home and watched a movie on Comcast Pay-Per-View – the frothy, silly, yet somewhat entertaining “Confessions of a Shopaholic” with “Wedding Crashers” cutie Isla Fisher (fabulous hair) and my new favorite heartthrob, Hugh Dancy.
I related to the lead character’s pulse race upon having Henri Bendel’s iconic brown-and-white striped shopping bag looped around her arm. As she passes the mannequins whispering sweet nothings to her on Fifth and Madison Aves. As she drinks to be brave enough to open her bills. As she ultimately sells all of her belongings to pay off her credit card debt. No, I haven’t sold my clothes. I’ve just shopped in that SoHo warehouse where they set her sale. Actually, it’s a church reception hall in NYC where craftsmen sell jewelry, clothing and handbags. I recognized the address on the fake flyer in the film. That was the scariest realization of all.
I’ve known this for a while. I knew it pre-, pre-, pre-recession and pre-layoff. But, seeing it satirized on screen, it became real for me. I, Miss Pink Slip, am a shopaholic.
Now, I’m not a shopaholic in the film’s over-the-top sense. I own no Louboutins (although, I greatly covet them), and the only couture I’ve seen up close was at the Met last weekend at “The Model as Muse” exhibit. That said, I’m best friends with the trinity: TJ Maxx, Marshalls and Loehmann’s. Half-price books at the Strand and on Amazon.com make me smile more than, well, Hugh Dancy. I have so much sh*t in my closet it’s unreal….and I have unreal debt to match.
So what’s a girl to do? Well, I’m trying to make a wholehearted effort to curtail the shopping. I’ve got to get a life and pay off the cards. And no, I’m not telling you how much there is to pay off. I’m keeping that little bit of denial for myself. Plus, I don’t want all you ever-so-helpful “credit counselors” stalking me.
Can I do it? Ha! As I’m typing this, my sister just emailed me a 30% off coupon for Old Navy, Gap and Banana Republic. The demons are already upon me!
Any tips? I pray I’m not beyond hope.