Tag Archives: Cosmo

I Think I’m a Horoscope Whore: What’s In It For Me In 2010?

Every December, my magazine addiction kicks into an even fiercer gear when January issues begin hitting my mailbox. I frantically tear through each glossy mag, searching for that “astrology” or “horoscope” page usually listed under “In Every Issue” in the Table of Contents. 

Why? I’m always dying to know what happens next. Yes, I’m the one who reads the end of a book first. I’ll read recaps of TV shows that I haven’t seen yet just because I have to know what transpired. I love surprises, but it’s like tickling me until I pee in my pants. I just can’t take the suspense and anxiety!

All my favorite magazines have horoscope features: Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, Town & Country, Elle… you name it. My favorite, however, is Cosmopolitan‘s “Bedside Astrologer”. I think it’s because every year, that risqué rag promises me a hot, passionate love affair to top all others with the kindest, manliest soul ever found on God’s green Earth. Yeah… I’ve been waiting for that to happen since the 1996 edition, Cosmo Friend. A girl can dare to dream, though.

Much like self-help reading, I think all these horoscopes have become too much for one’s brain to handle. Like information overload. Why can’t I settle for, “It’s a brand New Year;  let’s just see what happens”?  That’s a pretty novel concept, don’t you think?

Many of us have experienced monumental challenges this year – from job losses to a crashing economy to overseas wars, environmental disasters, etc. We all want answers to life’s biggest questions. It’s no surprise: All you have to do is look around you to know we could use a giant slice of faith and optimism. 

So here’s hoping you bring some ease to your life in 2010. You certainly don’t need a horoscope to tell you that.

Are you like me? Can you help taking a peek into the future?

–For the record, I believe one’s fate lies primarily with God. So no fun-killing, catty “horoscopes are the Devil” kind of comments.–

Picture: Cosmopolitan.com

MPS Newsstand: Cosmopolitan July 2009

lauren-conrad-cosmopolitan-july-2009Just got mine in the mail, and I have to say, it’s a great issue. Yes, Lauren Conrad is on the cover, but I’d rather see her than floating eyes Audrina, bleached out Heidi or, worse, Spencer. Also, the cover headlines don’t convey the fun inside Cosmopolitan‘s pages. Here’s the dirt:

The Good:

  • Loads of stories about men: getting a man; what he’s thinking; fixing your shitty sex life; what not to discuss on a date; why he needs space; soul mates; signs he digs you; 100 straight-forward, wham-bam-thank you-ma’am answers to questions about sex–this one’s great.I know it sounds like bogging yourself down in guy land, but let’s face it: it’s Summer, dating’s a good distraction from job hunting and you don’t have to buy one of MANY $20 books about the same subjects!
  • Confessions pages. Always fun. Always distracting. Always glad it’s not me
  • Inexpensive, “fun fearless fashion”. Usually the clothes in Cosmo, are way cheesy, but some of the offerings are really cute! Love the Avon earrings on p. 61!
  • Affordable beauty products, tips and cheap splurges
  • “Fake a Spa-Perfect Pedicure”, p. 84. Those salon foot pampering sessions don’t come cheap!
  • “When Fights Get Physical”, pp. 124-127. Everyone should be aware of dating violence, whether it’s happening to you or a friend
  • “Feel So Freakin’ Sexy”, pp. 136-139. Just plan silly and fun
  • Money saving tips
  • Excerpts from 4 hot beach reads, pp.146-148
  • Becoming a thrill seeker and daredevil, pp. 150-153
  • Chelsea Handler’s new “Ask Chelsea” column

The Bad:

  • Hot Sheet – Who cares about Kelly Osbourne and her ghostly boyfriend?
  • Article on Lauren Conrad, pp. 28-31. Nothing new in the least
  • “1 Top, 2 Ways”, p. 68. By now, if you don’t already know how to work a white t-shirt 50 different ways, you’re hopeless beyond the pages of a fashion magazine

The Ugly:

  • “One-Tone Hair or Two?”, p. 34 – Do we really need a poll to tell us it makes you look cheap?
  • “Heidi’s Not So in Love”, p. 36. Again–who cares about this fame-whoring duo???
  • “Why They’re Still Virgins”, p. 130-132. Once again. Do I care? These girls are all in their early 20s. Give me someone who’s 35 or 40 for a real shocker!

The Verdict: Four BIG Pink Slips. For the sheer fun and frivolity alone!

SEEKING GUEST BLOGGERS

Are you what Cosmo would call a “fun, fearless female”? Do you have a good unemployment story to tell, tried-and-true tips to share or a unique perspective to offer? Please let me know!

I am now adding new “Miss Pink Slip” voices to keep this blog fresh, resourceful and a must-read for the unemployed, struggling or cash-strapped gal. I’m also seeking great stories from women who’ve recently been hired after a stint of unemployment. Email me at misspinkslip09@gmail.com!

XOXO
Miss Pink Slip