Tag Archives: The Hills

If You’re Jobless, Would You Go On a Reality TV Show?

balloon-boy-family_1503175cAfter this week’s continuing Balloon Boy drama, I was thinking: If you are jobless and of sound body and mind, would you really take part in a reality show and humiliate yourself to make a few bucks? Think about it.

Looking at TV’s field of reality programming – quality shows like “I’m A Celebrity. Get Me Out of Here”, “The Bachelor”, “The Hills”, “The Real Housewives of <insert your town here>” and my <cough> favorite: <cough>”Keeping Up With the Kardashians” – I realized that at least one person on each of these programs comes out as a vapid idiot. Would you be willing to be that person in exchange for work and $$$?

There’s no way I could sob and cry over some dude I’heidi_montag_im-a-celebrityve known for a week, stage fake weddings, puke on camera or catfight and pull someone’s wig off in front of a fancy hotel. Maybe it’s just me, but I do want to maintain some sense of pride.

Talk to me: If you were broke or out of a job, would you shame yourself on a reality show for money?

Photos: Telegraph UK; NBC

5 Things Job Seekers Can Learn from Heidi and Spencer

2007_12_05_SpeidiNo. I’m not kidding.

They are arguably reality TV’s most annoying, opportunistic, egregious stars. Every time I see them together, I want to throw up and run for the hills (har har har…cough. I’ll be here all week!). But, there are some key things you as job seekers can learn from them. I know you’re saying, “WTF?”, but I’m serious!

In no particular order:

  1. Don’t burn bridges. Whether you’ve been laid off or are leaving a new job that ends up not being what you’d hoped, have respect for people around you and those that hired you (or let you go). You never know who those people know or where they’ll end up. They might just be the ones to help you get back on your feet. They can be your cheerleaders. They could hire you again down the road when things get better or they end up at a more desirable company. Speidi really screwed the pooch when they lashed out at their “I’m a Celebrity. Get Me Out of Here” co-stars/competitors. Those Frangela gals are not hesitating to talk some trash about those two.
  2. Don’t whore yourself out. Have some respect for yourself. You may be desperate for a pay check, but think about what you’re doing in order to earn that much-needed cash. Heidi, rolling around on the Malibu shores in a cheesy bikini for a video (cough…that your husband’s filming with a hand-held camera…cough) to help launch your “music career” should be downright embarrassing. Also, Playboy? I thought you were a good Christian girl. Stick to your values.
  3. Be genuine and up front. When you’re interviewing or even just talking about your career transition, be direct and be honest. You don’t have to incriminate yourself if you got fired, but don’t provide shady answers or skirt the issues, either. People will have a lot more respect for you if you tell the story straight, don’t throw other people under the bus and put your most genuine face forward. Heidi and Spencer’s segment on yesterday’s “Today” show (and the fallout) is a perfect example of what NOT to do. Now, they just look like even bigger idiots. Who has the credibility here? Al Roker or Speidi? Roker or Speidi? Do I even have to give you the answer?
  4. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.Let’s face it. Lauren Conrad made Heidi and Spencer Pratt. Without “The Hills”, no one would give two mounds of dog doo about them. They’d be another cheesy, over-bleached LA couple in search of a dream. If someone helped you be successful anywhere in your career, find kind words to say and don’t be ever disparaging.
  5. Remember you have a legacy. Anyone can bounce back from a questionable past or actions, but if you never atone for being an idiot, people will remember and treat you accordingly. Your actions have consequences. Always. Imagine being Spencer going for a job interview when his “celebrity” fades. Who in the world would want to hire him? No amount of saving by Stephen Baldwin will help.

MPS Newsstand: Cosmopolitan July 2009

lauren-conrad-cosmopolitan-july-2009Just got mine in the mail, and I have to say, it’s a great issue. Yes, Lauren Conrad is on the cover, but I’d rather see her than floating eyes Audrina, bleached out Heidi or, worse, Spencer. Also, the cover headlines don’t convey the fun inside Cosmopolitan‘s pages. Here’s the dirt:

The Good:

  • Loads of stories about men: getting a man; what he’s thinking; fixing your shitty sex life; what not to discuss on a date; why he needs space; soul mates; signs he digs you; 100 straight-forward, wham-bam-thank you-ma’am answers to questions about sex–this one’s great.I know it sounds like bogging yourself down in guy land, but let’s face it: it’s Summer, dating’s a good distraction from job hunting and you don’t have to buy one of MANY $20 books about the same subjects!
  • Confessions pages. Always fun. Always distracting. Always glad it’s not me
  • Inexpensive, “fun fearless fashion”. Usually the clothes in Cosmo, are way cheesy, but some of the offerings are really cute! Love the Avon earrings on p. 61!
  • Affordable beauty products, tips and cheap splurges
  • “Fake a Spa-Perfect Pedicure”, p. 84. Those salon foot pampering sessions don’t come cheap!
  • “When Fights Get Physical”, pp. 124-127. Everyone should be aware of dating violence, whether it’s happening to you or a friend
  • “Feel So Freakin’ Sexy”, pp. 136-139. Just plan silly and fun
  • Money saving tips
  • Excerpts from 4 hot beach reads, pp.146-148
  • Becoming a thrill seeker and daredevil, pp. 150-153
  • Chelsea Handler’s new “Ask Chelsea” column

The Bad:

  • Hot Sheet – Who cares about Kelly Osbourne and her ghostly boyfriend?
  • Article on Lauren Conrad, pp. 28-31. Nothing new in the least
  • “1 Top, 2 Ways”, p. 68. By now, if you don’t already know how to work a white t-shirt 50 different ways, you’re hopeless beyond the pages of a fashion magazine

The Ugly:

  • “One-Tone Hair or Two?”, p. 34 – Do we really need a poll to tell us it makes you look cheap?
  • “Heidi’s Not So in Love”, p. 36. Again–who cares about this fame-whoring duo???
  • “Why They’re Still Virgins”, p. 130-132. Once again. Do I care? These girls are all in their early 20s. Give me someone who’s 35 or 40 for a real shocker!

The Verdict: Four BIG Pink Slips. For the sheer fun and frivolity alone!

Did Whitney Get the Pink Slip?

I admit that I watched “The Hills” until this most recent season, but I have not seen episode one of “The City”. Frankly, I really couldn’t take much more of those boring bee-yoches.

But, when I saw today that West Coast fashionista Whitney Port is 135-the-hills_whitney_01_031rumored to have left Diane Von Furstenberg and returned to People’s Revolution, I thought it had to be one of three things:

  1. Kelly Cutrone arm wrestled Diane Von Furstenberg for Whitney and the ‘berg lost
  2. Olivia Palermo shoved Whitney out of a Patrick McMullan pic for the VERY LAST TIME!
  3. The gurl done got canned

What do you think? Was Whitney fired? Or did she quit and tell DVF to stick it up one of her wrap dresses?

(Photo: Whitney Port/MTV)

Mindless Movie Monday: The Hills

24_hillsgirls_lglFor this week’s installment of Mindless Movie Monday, I decided to highlight a TV program instead. It’s just too perfect…and too mindless.

MTV has an all-day “The Hills” marathon going on right now until later tonight when the new episodes premiere. You can spend more than 10 hours watching Lauren, Lo, Audrina, Brody, Frankie and the whole mindless crew while feeling better about yourself with every scene starring jackass partners-in-crime Heidi and Spencer.

You may not have a job, but at least you’re not shaming yourself, your family and future lineage with your stupid, slutty angst on national television. Heidi and Spencer. Enough said.